A New Beginning

We all wish for one. Everyone of us at some point in time wishes for a new beginning. How many of these are we allocated in our lifetime? For some of us it may seem like we never have one, for others we have many. 

I am wishing for a new beginning. I want my illnesses to disappear. So many struggles and hardships that I must face and live through every day. I wish for these to disappear. The OCD, PTSD, all the anxiety, the seizures and migraines. I want these to disappear. 

I take my medications, I pray, I meditate, I exercise, I eat well, I follow all my doctors orders. What else am I to do. Where else am I to turn. I have found many releases for my frustrations. I write, I draw, I read, I cook. These help to clear my mind for the moments while I'm doing them, but when I stop my mind comes right back to how messed up life can be for a person like me.

For those of us who suffer will illnesses such as OCD, PTSD, or any of the other anxiety disorders, much of the time we are silent suffers. Those who don't suffer with these illnesses cannot fully understand the black hole we live in at times. The unnerving fear that accompanies these. 

As we learn to cope with the side effects of our illness we learn more about ourselves. We learn how much we can take, how strong we are, or in some instances how weak we think we are. But there are a couple things about people with anxiety disorders that I have learned, we are the strongest people in the world. We face our fears every day and we live through it, and we are highly imaginable. Just think about what we work up in our heads that make us so freaked out in the real world. 

New beginnings. Every day is a new beginning when you think about it. It's a new chance to change the world. A new chance to make a new friend, change your relationship with someone. A new chance to learn something new, spend time with your family. Every day is a new beginning, it's up to you what you do with it. 

Me I'm going to use my new beginnings to brighten my own world, to brighten my kids world, to brighten my family's world, to be a better friend, to listen more, to love more, to share more. I'm going to do my best to give my all to myself and to those around me, even with all my illnesses I'll still look to each day as my new beginning.